Imagined Obligations

I stare at a blank screen, all the ideas from earlier suddenly vanished, leaving but a trace. The words seem to tumble jerkily onto the screen, finally sorting themselves out into decent phrases.The white and black expressions meld together into sentences as they eventually form a solid paragraph. Blogging shouldn't be this hard! I love writing, and when I start to journal, the words continue for pages, oblivious of time or surroundings. So then, why does that ease not transfer into the blogosphere?

expectation suppresses passion

This is the simple but hard truth of life that most people never seem to overcome: no matter what the situation, continual pressure to act, be, live, or create to a certain conformity never ends. Blogging is teaching me the difference between writing purely for my own pleasure, versus composing sentences that other eyes will see. I am free to be me during the former, but when I write for others, an imagined obligation to be something other than what I am creeps in.

Many times, even expectation itself is imagined--you think people want a certain style, you try to give it to them and then realize that they want something new! That is the only way to make a mark--same old, same old will not accomplish anything, nor reap any acknowledgement.

However, it is important to note that standards are VERY different than expectations. Writing held to a higher caliber level is what we should be striving for, not attempting to look or sound like someone else.

I want to establish my own style--not to be a cheap copy. Instead of obsessing over someone's work, complaining that I'm not as good as them, I must erect the unique qualities and creations of the trademark of me.

Trying every day to break free of the mold, I determine to build a blog that reflects me, or rather Christ in me, not various knock-offs.

Expectation may suppress passion, but determination along with passion will fight back and win.
note: all pictures taken by my sister :)

xoxo
 ~simi